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        Hey everyone, We’re back with another update that really mixes some stuff up. An entirely new challenging mode, a rebalance of the entire game to go with the rework of the new leveling progression numbers, ability to do the co-op intro online, faster PVP rounds, language translations and more! With the rebalance you’ll find that your fighters are dealing even more damage as they gain experience. All balance changes are retro-active meaning you do not have to worry about starting over or starting new characters in order to experience that – they’re all dynamically applied to what you already have! Feel free to check out what we’ve changed in the list below, and as always – please leave us feedback about anything you find noteworthy. As always, the main Story (although not included in this update) is being developed alongside all these improvements we have been releasing. Check out our blog for the full changelist: http://blog.thebehemoth.com/2017/09/28/update-5-infinite-wisdom-is-here/
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megan

Absolute Favorite Bbt Narrator Quips

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Hey Y'all,

We're asking you guys first before we post this on our Facebook poll tomorrow:

What are your Top Ten favorite narrator quips from the game?

We'll take the ones that repeat the most in this forum thread and then post it on the FB poll! Something special will come out of this, I promise. :)

So post away! If you only have a Top 5, that's okay too. I just wanted to make sure we don't list hundreds of them in one reply. lol.

Here's a few of my favorite in no particular order:

  • "But the eye of the storm is very misleading, children. Never turn your back on it, because the ocean was all like, SIKE!"
  • "Everything's coming together like butt cheeks!"
  • "Oh no! This isn't going to be good. Clench your butt! AHHHHHHHH"

EDIT: Awesome! I just took some of the ones from here, especially the ones that more than one person posted, and threw them up on our BattleBlock Theater Facebook page! Vote here: https://www.facebook.com/battleblocktheater

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"but now lets rest in the forbidon moonlight of yesterday's promises, well whatever that means."

 

" Oh a gem, lets put them all in one big pile and call it gem mountain, and then we can ski down it..... and then mabey eat soething.... get some coco..."

Edited by Good Mudkip

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Top 10, in no particular order (forgive me if I don't quote these perfectly):

"I didn't hear a fat lady!"

"Just run like you have diarrhea, and it's starting to come out."

"Oh what the f... fart."

"It's a lot like soccer, except for more like basketball, and nothing like soccer."

"And I'm pretty sure there was a shark! bshsshhssh- Yep, there he is! Oh God!"

"You can't fool me! Hatty would never betrayal us! Er... betray us... NEVER!"

"This game is brought to you by yarn. Yarn: it's a ball!"

"But even the word 'hopeless' has 'hope' in it! And if you rearrange the letters, it spells 'peeslosh'!"

"If one chooses yellow and the other chooses brown, we could make this place look like a gas station bathroom!"

And finally, good old...

"WELCOME! TO BATTLEBLOCK THEATER!"

The way he says that last one is epic.

Edited by GoldenGhost
  • Upvote 1

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lol duplicates.

 

"I was going tell you how much you suck. Turns out you don't!"

"FROM THE CREATORS OF CASTLE CRASHERS, I've heard mixed reviews, mostly good. (YOU'RE FIRED!) You're fired!"

"Give yourself a round of applause. You found a gem that was just sitting there."

"This Ball Game is brought to you by Yarn. Yarn. It's a ball!"

"IT WAS AS IF POSIDEN EXTENDED HIS HAND IN FRIENDSHIP AND THEY SPAT IN HIS MOUTH. Boy he was pi- he was mad!"

  • Upvote 1

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-You'll be like "Don't turn your back on me!" and he'll be like "MYAAAAHHH!" and you'll be like ""FRSHHBLBL!" and he'll be like "MYAAAAHHH!"

Edited by tapititon

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"Even the word 'hopeless' has the word 'hope' in it! And if you rearrange the letters it spells 'peeslosh!'"

"I don't, do you? I don't do you? I don't!"

"I hope you find gems, and not death!"

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"Get the best time and I'll give you a kiss because I love you!"

"Tonight's game is brought to you by yarn. Yarn, it's a ball!"

"It's kind of like soccer except it's more like basketball and nothing like soccer."

"Choo choo, all aboard the gem train! Next stop, rich town! Have your ticket ready."

"Oh you better watch out, you better not die!"

"I look foward to a game in which people get judged not by the color of their skin, but by the color of their blocks, which is the same as the color of their skin."

"A shipwreck as told by their fatebooks of fate."

"Welcome to Battleblock Theater! Go inside........the door."

I'm going to put the last 2 in a spoiler because they might spoil the game's ending and/or its final song.

"Buckle your pants or your pants will fall to the ground!"

"Just buckle them babies nice and tight please."

Not sure if the narrator sang those lines or not, I just put them there just in case.

 

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"Don't mess up don't mess up dontdontdununununu!"

"~Time to find some gems, time to find some ge-he-hems. You need three... of them.~"

"You spicey little fart."

"If you touch that lazer you'll poop and die! In that order!"

"It's as if Poseidon himself extended his hand in friendship, and they spat in his mouth!"

"Good try, but try gooder."

"Mmmhmmmmmmmmmmmm!"

"Or will your hilarious death screams be drowned out by your hilarious death screams?"

"I mean if you told me that I'd more than likely call you a liar and walk away, and uh... find some place to get ice cream to replenish the innocence you blackened with you filthy deceits! (I like strawberry)"

"Cat got your tongue? *rimshot* ...shutup..."

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"Where's the sparkly monies at? *Cha-ching* Oh yeah. Good one, bro."

 

"MORE! BIGGER! HARDER! THAT'S WHAT SHE S- I mean, uh."


"Their spirits have grown far too weary, children. And a weary spirit requires sustenance. Rich buttery sustenance."

 

"Seriously, try talking sense into a cat. They just stare at you with their lifeless patronizing eyeballs for like, a couple of seconds and then they just walk away. And then you're like, "Don't turn your back on me!" And they're like "Myeeeah". And then you're all like "Pffbgbftt!" And then they're all like "Myeeeah".

 

 

"Get the best time and I'll give you a kiss. Because I love you."

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"If I was in your capably nimble shoes, I'd say "to heck with Hatty and my friends, they'll be fine!"  And then I'd pack myself a nice bag lunch, show these cats my favorite finger, and then I'd make like horse turds and hit the trail!"

 

"Oh! Oh look! This smoldering unrest has given birth to a precious little storm cloud! Aww! Look at his little raindrops!"

 

"Where's the sparkly moneys at? ...Oh yeah. Good one, bro."

 

"Oh...What the f...fart."

 

"Just hold on a little longer, homie! We're coming for you! ...It'd be nice if you could meet us halfway but you know...whatever."

 

"Really? What tipped you off, genius?!"

  • Upvote 1

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A couple from the ending sequence stuck out for me. Obviously, don't read it you have not completed the game...

 

 

"If you (Hatty) can't carry yourself then we'll... carry you for you..." In homage to Mr Gamgee I believe.

 

"He (Hatty) didn't even respond to hugs. Freaking HUGS! He loves hugs..."

 

 

On a side note - how do you hide spoilers so you have to click on the to open them up?

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Avert your eyes children! AVERT THEM!

 

Now I'm no genius but I definitely know how long it takes a dead body to decompose..

 

To heck with Hatty and my friends!

 

.. but I'm not you! I'm not horse turds!

Edited by SpKXmasSpirit

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This game has had me in stitches so many times, here are my favourites:

 

- ...And if you re-arrange the words you get Peeslosh

- ...He clenched so hard, but his little cheeks just gave out...

- ...To heck with Hatty and my friends, they'll be fine! And then I'd pack myself a nice bag lunch, show these cats my favorite finger...

- Good try, but try gooder

- Plus she smells like Chocolate! ...So, that's good!

- Ah *much munch* yes.... *grumble chew* it all makes sense now!

- oh what the fffff.... fart

- From the creators of castle crashers... From which I've heard mixed reviews...

- I mean if you told me that, I'd more than likely call you a liar and walk away, and then uh... Find some place to get ice cream to replenish the innocence you blackened with your filthy deceits! (I like strawberry)

- Bigger! Harder! That's what she sa-... I mean, err

 

Theres probably more but I can only have ten! :P

Edited by Hi5er

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"Yarn was invented in 1984 by Stanley Yarn. Back then, it wasn't called yarn; it was called cat string. People used it to lure cats into their homes, because meat was very expensive at the time."

 

"I hear girls don't eat strawberries unless they're dipped in chocolate first. Is that true?"

 

"That was poop and you know it! Poop! POOOOP!!"

 

"So your best friend's _ _________ ___, blah blah blah, but you know what they say; when life gives you potatas, you make potata-salad, and I got JUST the recipe! HIT IT!"

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"what the f..fart!"

"Now i'm no genius but i defiantly know how long it takes for a body to decompose, so this place was around for...never mind forgot i said anything"

"And there was a huge whale and it was all like WAAAAAAAA and made things super scary, and I think there was a shark oh look there it is oh god!"

"What you weren't there? WHAT ARE YOU A NERD?"

Edited by mutan36

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"Clean and shiny just like baby poop"

"Feel free to customize your prisioner- ehh ah ah - perfomer"

(this one makes me think the narrator has something to do with the ending)

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"All you have to do is do this quickly without dying or screwing up"
"Cooperation... Optional"

"No! You're doing it wrong! Do it right!"

"There is an A+, but don't bother because that takes Talent."

 

I would love for the Narrator to narrate my few attempts to play anything past the first level of Alien Hominid; I imagine it would help me cope with the constant pain and failure.

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I'll just name a couple

"I traded my soul once for a glass of chocolate milk. I have no regrets at all!"

"Okay kids lets be mature FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!"

"WHAT THE FFF- fart..."

Edited by ChampionRage

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"And there was a huge whale and it was all like MWAAAAAAAA which made it super scary, and I think there was a shark, oh look there he is oh god!"

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