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      Update 5: Infinite Wisdom is here!   10/05/2017

        Hey everyone, We’re back with another update that really mixes some stuff up. An entirely new challenging mode, a rebalance of the entire game to go with the rework of the new leveling progression numbers, ability to do the co-op intro online, faster PVP rounds, language translations and more! With the rebalance you’ll find that your fighters are dealing even more damage as they gain experience. All balance changes are retro-active meaning you do not have to worry about starting over or starting new characters in order to experience that – they’re all dynamically applied to what you already have! Feel free to check out what we’ve changed in the list below, and as always – please leave us feedback about anything you find noteworthy. As always, the main Story (although not included in this update) is being developed alongside all these improvements we have been releasing. Check out our blog for the full changelist: http://blog.thebehemoth.com/2017/09/28/update-5-infinite-wisdom-is-here/
    • megan

      FALL SALE! 25% OFF select merch   10/16/2017

      Time to stock up on all of our autumn appropriate threads and accessories!



      From now thru October 22, 2017 (11:59PM PST), we’ve got sweatshirts and warm plush hats on sale at 25% OFF in our online store! There are also a few other rad items like the Behemoth scarf, skate decks, and the Hatty tissue box cover on sale.

      See the full list of Fall items here: FALL SALE
Scaler193

How I Get Girlsfriend?

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Never had a date in my life the one time a girl flirted with me I got so nervous I think by the end she thought I was gay, but that's a story for another time.

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Although I can't tell you how to get girls in general because we're all different, I can tell you what not to do. Unless the girl you're trying to impress is nosy to ridiculous levels, don't be an idiot and pee in front of her. Don't even get an open water bottle and pretend you're peeing. My ex did it once, and since it happened at the camp we went to at the time, he got in massive trouble.

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give girl a goat

girls love goats

 

I once got a girl to fall for me after repeatedly referring to her as a "sexy goat" at a party.

Now that girl is my best friend's girlfriend

Moral of the story?

Goats only give milk for one year in Harvest Moon and can't be sold

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give girl a goat

girls love goats

I once got a girl to fall for me after repeatedly referring to her as a "sexy goat" at a party.

Now that girl is my best friend's girlfriend

Moral of the story?

Goats only give milk for one year in Harvest Moon and can't be sold

Wait... pocket is cheating on me?!?!?!?!?

 

 

 

... Anyway... girls have cooties...

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Reenact: Shrek is Love, Shrek is life. Girlz luv that! Oh, wait, I luv that.

 

please direct all shrek-related news to the We Hate Groose Thread 2

 

thank you

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You will have her if you have enough chocolate boxes and poems. GIRLS LOVE THAT NOWADAYS

 

Also, invade her personal space at any time, even if you ask her for the time.

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Assert your dominance by telling her how popular you are on these forums. That should get her.

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Basically what ya wanna do is get two limes, and just start dropping them repeatedly in a public area. And then when a pretty girl comes along and asks why you keep dropping the limes, just say "sorry, im not good at pickup-limes" and if she laughs then you marry her.

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I have decided to turn over a new leaf. For too long have I been rude to all the wonderful people on the behemoth forums, from now on I will be as friendly as I can be. I no longer have any reason to taunt all of you any longer, and I can only hope you will see me as I am now instead of who I use to be.

~Love, Scaler193

gies this isnt a joke becaus scaler is new man now and he need new girl now. pls respect

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Assert your dominance by telling her how popular you are on these forums. That should get her.

Tell her you know the almighty Cat Guard. You can thank me later...

 

Girls are like cats. Cute, but they are deadly...

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Assert your dominance by telling her how popular you are on these forums. That should get her.

Tell her you know the almighty Cat Guard. You can thank me later...

 

Girls are like cats. Cute, but they are deadly...

Cats also poop in boxes.

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Assert your dominance by telling her how popular you are on these forums. That should get her.

Tell her you know the almighty Cat Guard. You can thank me later...

 

Girls are like cats. Cute, but they are deadly...

Cats also poop in boxes.

"One-Nine, shots fired in your area. Dispatching reinforcements immediately."

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