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maxl423

Castle Crashers Fan Fiction "the Tale Of The Blacksmith"

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It was a normal day at the castle as the birds chirped and the knights awoke from their slumber. They went to to the usual meeting place the near the castle where there lives changed. The practiced on the dummies when The Blue Knights sword snapped in half. He mumbled through the tears because that was his favorite sword. "Calm Down We can bring it to the black smith!" The Green Knight said. They arrived at the black smiths anvil and they asked him to fix it. "Guys how about we watch the master work his magic this time around" The Blue knight said. "Yeah tell us a story!" Said the Red. "What I am about to tell you is the real reason why I have this purple cross. You must promise not to say a word about the following story." Said the blacksmith. "We Promise" The Knights all said simultaneously. The Black smith Looked into the clouds. "What are we looking at?" Whispered the orange knight. "This is how flash backs work now" said the green knight. The Blacksmith started his story. "The Beggining of the story takes place 47 years ago. I was born into a poor family in one of the Kings colonies. As I grew up I was a trickster Throwing eggs at food carts, hopping on carriages hitching a free ride, and hanging with my friends. One was very special to me but he never said a word about himself. I called him Peach Fuzz cause he almost had a full on beard when he was 6. Problems arose when he told me his mother was killed which confused me because she was killed the same day as the queen. Years passed and he told me how his father was involved in a horrible accident so he has to do his duty. I didn't understand what he meant by duty so I asked him what is his duty. He told me that he was going to be the new king. It all made sense. The times when we were kids we rarely hung out cause he was from out of town and he came in on a boat but when he did we had the most memorable times. He was so young to be a king at the age of 19. He made me an honorable knight, or the purple knight. >>>Enjoying the story? Thanks ill finish it later! Part 2 will be in the next edit! Thanks -Max<<<

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Do you mind if I give some critisism? No? Good. :P

 

First thing: Textwall. Please, put some space between important pieces of the text, it makes reading the text alot more interesting.


Second: I feel like the story has already finished there. Purple knight, purple cross. 'Nuff said.

 

Third (and last): The text reads a bit uncomfortable. Try describing the surrounding a bit more, before introducing characters, that would already help alot.

 

Except for that, good story, keep on writing, I'm curious what the next part will be like. ;)

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