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"Ridiculous Role Playing Game Loosely Based On BattleBlock Theater"

The Theater McMaster turns to the players:

"The boat will be departing tomorrow morning for Furbottom island. If you wish to be aboard please have your ticket containing the following items:

Your characters name.

A picture of the head that represents your character. (Can be user created or in game. No duplicates)

A short bio/backstory of why you are making this bloodthirsty pillage in search of green gems.

Sign up today as part of team friendship.

The choice is yours and the journey will begin tomorrow when I give further details. Until then: choose a character and give us your backstory."

~says the Theater McMaster as if any of this will matter in the end.

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Jacob

post-19442-0-63671300-1377218725_thumb.png

 

 

 

After working so long Jacob want  to do something new.He want to do an adventure, even if he risk his life doing so!

Edited by Jac16king

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ok so i don't know how to make edit photos so.... just pic him with a battle block theater body :D Tank_Dempsey_Origins_BOII.png his name? tank. tank strike. years of just being who he is. an epic war fighter. year later after he retires he finds the boat to battle block seeing it as a change and seeks a evil to destroy. he jumps on the ride.

 

ps i love the name of this thread :D

Edited by TURRET_100

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The boat departs with the two lonely sailors. The captain assured the citizens that the s s friendship never leaves late.

If other adventures would want to join they would need to swim to catch up. (That means if you want to play then join in)

After sailing with beautiful blue skies for what seemed like a fantastic fortnight, the s s friendship hit a spot of danger in what many call:

A storm.

Lightning bolts from Zeus's butt! Clouds like mother in laws! Waves like "splash, splish: you're wet". It was dark, it was grey, you were scared, someone peed a little bit. (Just a little). Someone cried, everyone wanted their mommies. Jacob grabbed his teddy bear for dear hope of joyous salvation, for he was more religious than the rest, while tank strike finished his dinner and proceeded on to ice cream treats. Apparently tank had seen worse, and he was also terribly deaf.

As passengers you have the choice between the following actions, and be warned, once you choose your action YOUR FTE IS SEALED!!!

And FTE stands for fate misspelled!

Do you:

Grab the shark and hope he's friendly and headed your way?

Stay on board and trust the captain?

Grab a lifeboat and head to shore?

Grab the locked box of mystery and hope it floats?

Trust your swimming skills to the sea?

Eat the beans and hope to motorboat your way outta this one?

Or

(Make up your own response)

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Both passengers chose to stay on the ship, which proved to be a good choice... Until the incident.

Jacob, being a religious fanatic of a still unnamed religion loosely based on the hollywood blockbuster Step Up, pulled the steering wheel off the ship to make a religious symbol to pray to. The captain then had to jam his pinky into the steering cavity to control the ship through the rest of the storm.

Tank, still below the deck and continuing to eat happened upon the captains magic brownie stash.

No not that kind of magic brownie...

These magic brownie caused the eater to fart rainbows and dream up magical pink unicorns that would assist in battles of Giant Spiders! This of course was a completely useless follower since they would face no Giant Spiders, but the unicorn proved to be a fun addition to the team since he was incredibly insulting and could scratch those hard to reach places when they just got really itchy.

The crew made it through the storm but unfortunately the captain strength began to fade and the crew eventually crashed into a large rock far from the shores of Furbottom island. The crew once again had several choices to make:

Jacob specific: abandon newly formed religious symbol or carry the symbol as your burden for the quest?

Tank specific: bring the magic brownies with you in hopes of new abilities or leave them behind of fear for future failures?

All players, and future players joining have these choices:

Swim for shore.

Use the lifeboat to get to shore.

Grab the locked box of mystery and try to float that to shore.

Cut the captain free and hope he's grateful for freeing him.

Stay on the boat and hope things "just get better".

Make a phone call.

Grab the diving equipment.

Post a blog about your adventure so far on famous social network Facepalm and Twatter.

OR

(Make up your own response)

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I, Uncle Grandpa, will use Giant Realistic Flying Tiger to fly myself, and anyone who wishes to join me to shore.

tumblr_ll42z0QYmy1qfz0ybo1_500.gif

Edited by TURRET_100

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I, Uncle Grandpa, will use Giant Realistic Flying Tiger to fly myself, and anyone who wishes to join me to shore.

tumblr_m1vknqkfDX1qeyt27o1_500.gif

Edited by FOXFRAGON

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The captain, after taking a belly filling swig of rum pulled his pinky out of the steering wheel hole...


 

Technically he chewed his pinky off, but being black out drunk, the crew decided it best to retell the story as a moment of bravery when he pulled his pinky out and lost it in an epic gamble against Captain Peter Peter Pinky Eater. The Captain's memory was fading, so this worked out for everyone, and the captain was never the wiser.


 

The crew was joined by the infamous Uncle Grandpa.


 


 

His name was a bit of a misnomer since he never procreated any offspring, was an only child, and neither male nor female, and his "GRiFT" was imaginary, as you can see by his posted "selfie".


 

Jacob, who chose to keep his religious symbol which was a boom box carved out of wood, was a terrible swimmer as his religious views made him believe that all water was formed from the sweat and spittle of beat boxers in the heat of epic battle. He boarded the Captain's life boat and went to shore.


 

Tank, being the literate genius that he is, decided to "leave those behind, the evil food, and swim to them land like a boss." Unfortunately he started swimming in the wrong direction and a small search party was sent after him. He was a very adept swimmer (meaning good) and left the search party far behind him, and being deaf hindered his ability to hear them calling for him to come back.


 

The pink Unicorn, that now followed him, attracted the attention of the rare duck shark, as unicorn horn meat is a real treat for a duck shark. Now duck sharks are very convincing and decided to attempt to persuade Tank and the Unicorn to follow him to his underwater mansion where they could have further adventures and delicious treats.


 

Uncle Grandpa stood on the side of his boat in delusion, for although he was neither a male, an uncle, or a Grandpa, he was very old and delusional. Attempting to "fly away" on his magical GRiFT for several hours before he wet himself, finally the captain invited him aboard his lifeboat with Jacob. Uncle Grandpa, after a long shouting match about the validity and actual existence of his GRiFT, finally agreed to go ashore aboard the life boat under the condition that he be allowed to keep his hands warm in the back pockets of Jacob's trousers. Jacob also agreed to allow access as long as the cooing was kept to a minimum and was left muffled.


 

The party, now separated, would have to make some choices of their own, and after careful consideration by the captain, and sheer lack of creativity, the choices available to the crew would be limited to one Captain decided option, or the creation of a solution of their own:


 

Would Tank:


 

Trust the Duck Shark and venture into the mansion of pleasure and adventure.


 

-Or-


 

Make up Tank's own dang mind about what Tank want do.


 

Would Uncle Grandpa:


 

Keep his hand's in Jacob's back pockets and gain a joy bonus and lose full function of both hands for a limited time during the next encounter.


 

-Or-


 

Make up his own delusional mind, filled with many misconceptions of where, who, and what he is.


 

Would Jacob:


 

Breakdance for like half and hour


 

-Or-


 

Make up his own mind, and karate chop some monkeys right in their monkey faces, so evil yet so innocent looking.


 

make your choice and know that your FTE is sealed!!!!!!!!!!

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i go into the place. yet i find a small harpoon gun on the ground with more ammo yet i will keep it hidden so they dont think i will kill them i will only use it if they start to attack me or something like that.

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I, pull my magic letter opener (In the show it's a giant magic glowy sword that makes things vanish when stabbed) out of Belly Bag, which is indeed real, can talk, and is magical. I use the sword to keep away the banshees. Some of them were real, others were just ordinary flying babies.

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Their journey, getting creepier and weirder with every twist and turn, was just beginning and displayed the rare traits of having potential or major plot holes.  Tank now swimming with his pink unicorn, further into the abyss following a duck shark to his promised lair, grabbed a rusty tampoon, which is a female harpoon, for self defense in case of an attack.  Although Tank was brave, deaf, and full of magic brownie, he was still cautious.

 

Jacob, choosing to breakdance right next to the freezer god of blessing and good will or curses and broken dreams, slipped on some ice cubes knocking him out cold... which was quite a coincidence since the freezer god was thoroughly impressed by his play on words and decided to enchant Jacob's religious boombox and embued it with the power of laughter.

 

At this point no one quite knew what that meant besides the creepy children's laughter that could be heard at a far distance everywhere they now walked.

 

Uncle G, as the thugs now called him, whipped out his grandmother's letter opener from his magic purple fanny pack he had strapped around his belly.  He fought off some "banshees" for a few minutes, grew tired and took a brief power nap.  He also pooped himself a little bit, but no one ever mentioned this.  So pretend that never happened.

 

Tank arrived at the duck shark mansion where he met the duck sharkies, a close knit family that enjoed quiet meals and family time together.  Their favorite family game was sweaty twister where everyone would do 50 jumping jacks next to a roaring fire and then play twister until they all collapsed and laughed in a puddle of their combined sweat.  The family that plays together stays together.

 

Arthur, the step dad, snuck into the back... he may be planning to bring out the tuna cake, or the unicorn horn chainsaw.  Who knows?

 

(I do actually)

 

When Jacob awoke from being unconsious, he found one of his earlobes removed, and his head bandaged up.  Also a small pink bandaid on his knee that he couldn't explain.  Apparently the ship's doctor did not make it through the storm and Treadmark, the ships chef, was forced to do all of the surgical work.  This was a bad idea since he only had a butcher's knife and no medical training whatsoever.  As a matter of fact, it would seem as though this single decision was the worst decision ever made. 

 

That was until.... no that comes later.  Getting ahead of myself.

 

Uncle G Hersey (not going to explain this new nickname) awoke from his nap, energized and ready to fight more banshees, but after a good nap Uncle G Hersey was always more awake and alert than ever.  He decided to sheath his weapon for fear of losing another eye (he was originally born with 3).

 

Uncle G and Jacob met with the captain and they noticed a bright glow coming from deep inside of the island. Confused as to where this light may have been coming from, the crew talked about wether they should stay put or venture further into the island in hopes of finding something to repair their ship with or some other people so that they could find out where they are.

 

There were some decisions to make:

 

Tank:

 

Do you pull out your tampoon, terrify the shark family, but hope to be prepared for Arthur to come back in case of danger?

 

Join in on the game of Twister (right hand on blue)

 

-OR-

 

Make up Tank's own dang mind about what Tank want do.

 

Would Uncle G Hersey

 

Venture along the West Shore with a search party.

 

Venture along the East Shore with a search party

 

Go straight into the belly of the beast (which means straight towards the middle of the island.)

 

-OR-

 

Make up his own delusional mind, filled with many misconceptions of where, who, and what he is.

 

Would Jacob:

 

Follow Uncle G Hersey (at a distance because of... oh yeah we aren't telling him what happened)

 

Go the opposite direction of Uncle G Hersey to cover more ground (and get some fresh air)

 

Unplug the freezer god and hope to steal his god powers, or just conserve electricity.

 

-OR-

 

Make up his own mind, which is now being plagued by haunting children laughter.

 

ANYONE JOINING MUST CHOOSE TO FOLLOW UNCLE G, TANK, OR JACOB IN WHATEVER DECISION THEY MAKE... OR MAKE UP SOMETHING WEIRD TO SAY IN ORDER TO JOIN THE GAME.

 

Make your choice and know that your FTE is sealed!!!!!!!!!!

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i tank, starts to think he went wrong way says to the them thanks for the offer and starts going the way he came hoping he went the wrong way. but first leave the them a nice gift. he offers their his friend ship will then gives them one of his guns from the war his favorite one as a gift. also asking them if they wish to come to battleblock with him

Edited by TURRET_100

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Tank felt out of place amongst the Duck Sharks.  He turned to his unicorn, Michael Jordan, and whispered "we need to go!  I'm scared"

 

Tank was still deaf and his whisper was actually a very loud shout directly into Michael Jordan's ear and the entire Duck Shark family heard him.  This was not the first time they felt unwanted.  When they visited their in-law's, the Mallards, and their other in-laws, the Great White's, they felt quite out of place... and green.

 

"Great job Pickle. You just made us both look like Glasshats in front of these Muffled Fingers.  What the Frog were you thinking?"

 

(in case you couldn't figure out, Michael Jordan, being a pink unicorn, was unable to use any profanity due to being in a forum... I mean due to being a pink unicorn)

 

The Duck Sharks refused the gifts that Tank proceeded to offer as they assumed it was due to their lack of social skills that caused the uneasiness that Tank felt.  They decided to Join Tank and Michael Jordan on their quest to Furbottom Island.  Fortunately they had an escalator that led directly to the island. (odd how Jacob and Uncle G Hersey didn't notice it.)

 

Arthur came out the back with his Optimum Manliness Frisbee Golf Edition of Death, his family favorite.  When he saw his family leaving he rushed to catch up and left the OMFGED behind.  Shame too, because Tank really could have utilized it had he not been in such a rush.  This would cause him later harm... but again, you'll have to wait!

 

Tank is now joined by Danny, Manny (the twins) Fanny (the mom), Granny (the uncle), and Arthur the step dad to the duck shark family.  Still followed by Michael Jordan the pink unicorn.

 

Jacob watched Uncle G Hersey dig for quite a while.  When he felt the moment was right he reached deep into Uncle G Hersey's Fanny pack and grabbed the soft, moist, warm... butter?

 

Apparently the Magical fanny pack was an enchanted item, only granted elusive powers to the senile Uncle G Hersey.  Hopefully he would use it wisely... but the odds don't look in the teams favor.

 

"oh boy butter!  I could really use some rich buttery sustenance right about now" said Tank as he surfaced on the escalator.

 

"How long has that been there?" Jacob said to Tank, while pointing at the Escalator that so obviously had been there all along.

 

"That Dome Grass Muffled Finger is deaf. Squeeze,  am I the only Finger  person around here who pays attention GayDancing?"

 

Tink!

 

Uncle G Hersey's Diamond Spork hit something solid.  It was the first solid thing the Spork had been used to retrieve ever since Uncle G Hersey went on his all prune diet.

 

 

 

He had struck it rich...

 

 

 

And I mean Winston Rich...

 

 

 

Uncle G Hersey had uncovered a treasure chest full of 50,000 Green sparkly gems, the maximum amount he would be able to carry for an unknown reason.

 

But then the unthinkable happened:

 

Here's where things get interesting

 

First person to post what happens to this team gets to actually modify the story!  The only restriction is that you cannot kill anyone in the party, this includes the duck sharks, Michael Jordan, The freezer god, and Jacob's Boombox of Laughter.

 

Once the first person responds with what happened, Tank, Jacob, and Uncle G Hersey must post as to how they respond to this tragic, lighthearted, odd, unique, completely irrational, farfetched, reasonable (or any other descriptive word that might be associated with the response, event).

 

If you have been playing, you can make up the tragic event AND what you do in response to it, IF you post first!  Any submissions after the first post do not affect the story, but they very likely will be used later!

 

 

 

Make your choice and know that your FTE is sealed!!!!!!!!!!

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Just as they were about to grab the gems, when the biolizard come down from behind

 

yet it was just the size yet evil. it was about to shoot something at the heros when Arthur came up the escalator and brought the Optimum Manliness Frisbee Golf Edition of Death and stepped on the monster. a sigh was happen. but thats when the cats show and took everyone to jail and took all there stuff even the fanny pack. Yet they look and Uncle G into one of those insanity rooms. (had too :D) so now in jail and with out thing what shall the heroes do? (note everyone is in there own cell.) (also Jacob still has Boom box thing dude to him hiding it so well

 

will tank try to force open the door

 

or shall tank make own his own mind?

 

will Uncle G try to call one of his friends?

 

or will Uncle G do something else the he makes up?

 

Will Jacob try to make a key out of his wooden boom box?

 

or shall the man named Jacob make up his own mind

 

i tank will try force the door down with the power of all his years in war

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Jacob started to look around the room and notice a loose tile.He picked up the and found yawn! A cat saw him with yawn and ran to his cell door.Jacob then said "If you want this you have to let me out".The cat opened the door and grabbed Jacob's yawn and let him leave.But before he was about to leave a cat pushed him into a door and Jacob fell into the other room,which was a theater.Jacob started to look around and notice dangerous stuff.Jacob then got grabbed and got locked into a cage.

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