Corrupt a wish!

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This is the topic where all of your wishes come true, but are slightly twisted by the user below you. Example:

InsertFunnyUserNamehere: I wish I had a girlfriend!

Cuppythecupclone: Granted, but she has herpes! A HURR HURR!

Got it? Good. Now I'll start.

I wish had amazing ninja abilities!

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Sorry, but this pony would be sexually attracted to you..... And it would never stop following you.

I wish that I had $1,000,000,000,000 in cash that was not counterfeit, that I could keep forever and spend, and was not stolen.

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